494. More Unhinged Nellie

On this episode, Nellie discusses the concept of "Unhinged Nellie," a state of empowerment felt on Fridays after a week of hard work. She shares a personal story about standing up to a man in a parking lot who confronted her for going the wrong way. Despite feeling a trauma response, she assertively owned her mistake and refused to be rushed. This incident highlighted her progress in not apologizing unnecessarily and standing up for herself. She emphasizes the importance of protocols for handling situations, drawing parallels to on-the-job training in nursing. Nellie encourages women to speak up and not apologize excessively, inspiring her daughter to see strength in women.

We will touch on:

• Unhinged Nellie's Introduction and Weekly Trend
• Favorite Wallet and Wealthy Actions
• Standing Up for Herself in the Parking Lot
• Reflecting on Past Experiences and Trauma Responses
• The Importance of Not Saying Sorry and Standing Up for Herself
• Practicing Protocols and Being Prepared
• Encouraging Women to Speak Up and Stand Together

Transcript

Unknown: 1:23

Unhinged. Nelly comes out on Fridays. There's a trend that I am seeing. I don't know if you're seeing it, but I'm seeing it like she comes out to play throughout the whole week. Um, if you see me looking around, I'll explain why here in a second. Um, so give me hashtag live. Hashtag a replay. Hopefully this is going to inspire you to be a little bit more unhinged. And unhinged doesn't have to be. I don't see it as a bad thing. I see it as a powerful thing. Unfortunately, this world is still not down fully. With women speaking up, women being in their power. It very much intimidates people, and we get to, we get to fight the resistance, like, truly, we get to fight the resistance. I think that unhengelle comes out a lot to play on Fridays, because I've, like, mommed all week. I've worked all week, and by Friday I'm just like, like, I'm in my power where I'm just, like, I have done so much this week to be a law abiding citizen and a good kind human and a good mom and like, don't mess with me. Like, don't mess with me, right, sleep deprived and all. Um, so there's that. So hashtag, live, hashtag, replay. Happy Friday again. I'll explain why I'm looking around right now. Um, I wanted to first show you my wallet. I talked about my wallet on a few other videos, but isn't this so cute? This is one of my favorite wealthy tips. Is a new wallet. It doesn't have to be anything expensive. I used to buy the brand name Kate Spade Michael Kors wallet, but they actually didn't give me joy. This wallet's from Amazon, and it was, I think, $34 and it makes me very, very happy. And Emma is very jealous. She's very, very jealous of of my wallet, and it has a cute matching backpack that I really want to get as like my mom backpack. So that's like, the next thing on the wealthy want list. If you have not watched that video, please go watch that two part video. It is so good. I'm getting so much feedback from that, that two part series of creating everything that you want, because it's 1,000% possible. I'm just like my my mama bear alert is on. So I wanted to show you the wallet. I went and got an ice cap because I have not had an ice cap from Tim Hortons in so long, and I was just craving it today, and I dropped Harley off at doggy daycare. There's lots of wealthy actions happening. And today, in all the years, I have gotten an ice cap as long as I can remember, like it's one of my favorite like, just little pleasures. It's not even guilty pleasures. It's just little pleasure. And no one ever, ever, ever, ever has asked me this question at Tim Hortons. So Tim Hortons Corporation, if you're listening, like, give this person a raise. She asked me, Would you like to add a shot of expresso in your in your drink. And I was like, Um, yes, and it was a small upgrade, right? But she asked the question, this is the power of asking, Okay, people don't know what they don't know. I didn't know. I didn't I didn't know I could add a shot. And so we can't assume that people are going to ask, or they're going to know, and it like, literally, it tastes so good. I might have to get Boone out. You're gonna get, like, real unhinged here in a second. I might have to get him out here. So we're just gonna climb back here on this episode of unhinged Nelly. Okay, so like to the part that I wanted to talk to you about, so we're about to go pick up some things at the store. Okay? And this is the part I really wanted to talk about, okay, let me. Let me come back here real quick. Okay, so the part that I wanted to talk about, okay, is we're at the store currently, right now, okay? And I accidentally, okay, went down the wrong lane of the parking lot. Mind you, I'm in a parking lot. Okay? It's on a Friday morning. It's not crazy busy. I accidentally, okay, went down the wrong can you say, Go on me. I went down the wrong lane. Okay, so I immediately realized here you're going to go ahead and you want to sit Missy. Um. I immediately realized I went down the wrong lane. Okay, we're parked right now, by the way, um, and like, you know when you, like, make a mistake, and this may be, this may be a trauma response, it most likely is, I realized I made a mistake and my body froze, okay, but I moved over because there were a couple cars coming. I was like, Oh snap, I went down the wrong lane. Okay, so the reason why I was kind of looking around the parking lot is because this man, okay, um, this man rose up his hand, okay, and is immediately upset with me, all right, but I already moved over, so I was not in his way. And so then he he felt the need to pull up next to me, which he was then blocking the people behind him, okay? And, um, roll down his window. So I'm like, okay, but dude, let's play like, let's go. And so I rolled down my window, and he's like, you're in the you're you're going the wrong way. Like, no shit, right? And I said, I understand. And I made a mistake, and I moved out of the way so you could go through and I will correct my mistake in the timeline that I want to okay, because he literally was trying to force me to cut through, to go on the other side. And I'm like, I will do that when I want to okay, like, and I felt so powerful. And it's not in your timeline, dude, it's in my timeline, there, you are not a cop. I made a mistake. I am in a parking lot. You are safe. I am safe. Go on with your day. And literally, I gave him a thumbs up when I moved over and a smile for him to like, go through. Okay, so this is what I'm talking about, like, of blah, low energy. He just spent so much time, right, for something that was so unnecessary. And could I control that? No, right? I'm a human. I made a mistake. I corrected my mistake. I think that that like, if there's one thing I want to teach our children over and over and over again, is mistakes will happen, but mistakes mean that you're trying, and what one of the most important things, I think, is, what do you do after you realize you made a boo boo or a mistake? Right? I didn't try to pretend. I didn't make excuses. I owned my mistake. And equally, I get to do things in a in a way that I want to do them, not how you want to do them, sir. Okay, and so this is the problem of women making more money is because they're so I'm gonna get very feminist for a second, because that whole situation is so much masculinity that is disgusting to me, and it's still existing in late 2024, of you're a man, you're telling me how I should operate when it was not necessary at all. Now, could have that been female the female, for sure, but the interesting part is, is I'm curious if it was due to dude, if he would have treated me that way, right? We'll never know. But how he was talking to me was not okay, and I wasn't about to just bow down to him in a in a situation that did not even it wasn't even necessary. I did not say sorry, okay, and I did not do what he wanted me to do. And so this is like so important, because so often we are so submissive to the world, not just men, but just the world. We're so like, Oh, I'm sorry. Like, yep, okay. Like, Oh, you want me to go this way right now, because that's what you want me to do for no reason that makes sense. Like, okay, let me just go do that. And so I stayed where I parked, like where I moved over for an awkward amount of time, like, just an awkward amount of time. And so I'm just, I normally don't beg, but I am begging you to stop saying sorry so much. There is a time and a place to say sorry, and the best way to really understand if you truly are sorry is to say, I'm sorry for right, like, when you make a mistake and you're in like, a really, like, loving, intimate relationship, I think, more than ever that. It's when it's so important to say sorry I didn't owe him a sorry I owned that I made a mistake. So I was not playing victim. I wasn't, you know, blaming anything. I was like, Yeah, I'm a human and I made a mistake. I hope you have a great day, but I'm going to sit my ass right here until you move right, like, because I moved out of the way. I made the mistake. I moved out of the way. Go on with your day, right? And he didn't like it. He literally, that's that's why I was looking he literally kept circling the parking lot. I don't know why, but and I was still firm and I was still kind. I did that cuss, I smiled, but I made a point to stand up for myself and speak up for myself. This was so much of last year was I was tolerating so much shit in my life. There were so many people that I again, take responsibility. I was allowing so many people to treat me like just not okay, not even always like shit, but just not okay. And I was allowing it to happen so much because the inner people pleaser, and he was so afraid of what they would think of me, or, you know, them abandoning me. But it can't be at the cost like every relationship in your life. Oh, you want the donuts. I got these for us. We're gonna have a little donut party in the parking lot. Um, he even turned the air up. He's, this is a good man. This is a good man. Um, but what was I saying? There was, there was a very profound thought there, and it just went away with the donuts just all away. Anyways. So a similar situation actually happened. When was that? It wasn't too long ago, probably, like a year or so ago, I was at a stoplight and I didn't turn because I didn't feel safe turning okay? It was like to turn left. I am a very big stickler on not chanting turning left for so many reasons, like statistics show that turning left, obviously can cause a lot of accidents. And I had two children in the car, and I didn't go and the man behind me got out of his car and with one little finger tapped on my window. And again, trauma response, I immediately froze. I did not roll down my window for that one, and he started yelling at me that I did not turn and I actually did say sorry, and that's what I'm talking about. And so like you can still be in a trauma response, like I was this morning, where I oh my gosh, I just made a mistake, okay? And I moved over today, but my body still felt like I was in a trauma response. So you will still most likely, right, because programming runs really, really deep. Okay, we're just going to take a little sip of our expresso drink here, please today, go get yourself, if you have a 10 Hortons near you, go get yourself a Tim Hortons ice cap with a shot of espresso. I want to go back and give that person a hug, because this just took this to a whole new level. Tell them that I sent you. I get nothing in return, but just it'll be funny. They'll be like, huh, who sent you what? So I said sorry to that person when that happened at the stoplight. So what I'm so proud of and like what I what I realized this morning, because I could have not planned that that was a divine intervention, universal moment today. Because what that just showed me is without fucking wavering, I stood up for myself. I didn't hesitate. I didn't say sorry, then stand up for myself. I didn't, you know, have to go back and clean up the mess and stand up for myself later, because that was a big pattern of mine where I would, like, smile and nod and be the nice girl, and then have to, like, go back and clean up my mess. Of like, oh shit. Like, this doesn't feel good, and that that's even harder, right? Most of us have been there, and so I'm so proud, like, I'm so proud of myself, even though I still felt that trauma response where I'm like, move over, frozen, okay? And I was like, I. I still stood up for myself. That shows me like all the work that I've been doing is paying off so much because I did not even hesitate. I did not even hesitate. And what a big blessing. And so this does take time. I do believe that awareness is key. Awareness is so important. And what I teach is called protocols, meaning, be prepared of how you would handle certain situations. Because even if that situation doesn't happen, but a similar one does, you're you're ready for it. Like this is why, like the healthcare world is so powerful, because what they teach, what they teach is protocols, even if something, even if a certain situation doesn't happen, you're trained emotionally and physically for it, that you're ready for it, and so that that energy of being prepared and like, and starting to instill it in your body is really, really powerful, because if and when that or a similar moment happens, then it's almost like muscle memory, right? Like, think about the things that you can do without even really trying or thinking really hard, like brushing your teeth, showering, getting dressed, doing the dishes. I know that may sound crazy, but that similar way of being can absolutely happen for situations like this, and it does take time, so you you creating the protocols, okay, and then you practicing the protocols. Are so powerful, because you can start to practice the protocols and safe environments. So like, you know, if you have a hard time speaking up for yourself, you could start to speak up for yourself on social media with things that you're really like that are really important to you, right? That's going to feel easy, that's going to feel safe, and it's going to start to feel better in your body, versus, versus not practicing it okay. This is why in nursing, again, they do. They have to go through years of actually being in, you know, the hospital and being there and working through it, because, like, there's nothing better than on the job training. So this is what's so powerful about all of this, is because you don't just magically get better at it. You get better at it by doing it like anything. And so I just want to call all women forward that we get to speak up for ourselves so much more than we are, and we get to stop saying sorry, so much, so much. So I am just incredibly proud of myself. I was that was not on my to do list today, and I I could not control him rolling down his window. And obviously, like it was a situation where I, I could, I could have decided not to roll down my window, but you know what unhinged Nelly was like, What would you like to say to me, sir? And I don't have to do what you want me to do, and especially if you are raising daughters, our daughters, even our our sons, but our daughters, they get to see a really strong woman. I love how much my daughter looks up to me. Sometimes it feels like a lot of pressure, but Jared says all the time he's like, You are the center of Emma's world, like she literally, like, idolizes you. And I love that, because then hopefully, the more and more I work on myself, will just keep showing her how normal it is to be a powerful woman, and in her world, that's normal, right? And that's so powerful. So we're gonna now go in to our store. I don't see the jerk. So stand up for yourself. Speak up for yourself. You don't have to be mean. You don't have to be bitchy. I didn't say anything nasty, but you get to stand up for yourself. You get to stand up for yourself. And I'm just really proud by you saying, bye. I'm really, really proud of myself, because it's easy to do it in moments where you're like, choosing to do it, but not so easy in moments where you're like, this was not my choice. This was not on my to do list today, and I did it anyway, and I stood up for myself, and I stood in my power, because he he like, kept going. He. Kept going. He was like, You need to go over to the next lane. And I was like, I will. That's why I'm pulled over. I will, but I made a mistake, and I'm gonna sit here for a moment and I will move over. Oh, it's a great day to be a powerful fucking woman who wants to join me. Bring it on. Bring it on. We're going places, ladies, the world is the not the entire world is gonna be down for you being a powerful fucking woman, and the more we can stand together and lock arms and just know that not the whole world is going to be down for that, and that's okay, because we're stronger, especially when we're together. We'll get through it, we'll get through it, we'll get through it, and we'll do it with a smile on our face, so hot, even if we're in a messy bun, in a T shirt, we're gonna look so hot. Okay, so I love you. Make it a great day. Do you want to say, Bye, Mama people, kisses. Give the ladies some love. Can I have a guess? Okay, goodbye. You.