482. How To FEAR-LESSLY Adjust and TrUSt

On this episode, Nellie discusses the importance of "adjusting and trusting" in life and business. She emphasizes the value of having a support system and being vulnerable. She recounts her journey from starting an online business while pregnant to building a successful brand, highlighting the role of action and resilience. Nellie encourages listeners to embrace fear, take consistent action, and focus on progress rather than fear of failure. She stresses the importance of self-care, such as cleaning and organizing, to manage fear and maintain a positive mindset. 

We will touch on:

• Adjusting and Trusting: Introduction and Sponsorship
• The Role of Trust in Adjusting
• Overcoming Fear and Embracing Action
• The Power of Progress and Action
• The Importance of a Strong Support System
• The Role of Vulnerability in Leadership
• The Importance of Consistent Effort
• The Role of Action in Overcoming Fear
• The Importance of a Positive Mindset
• The Role of Support in Achieving Goals

Let's Take Some Action:

• Lean in when you feel fear, rather than avoiding it.
• Practice releasing emotions through activities like cleaning, organizing, and exercising.
• Take action, even if it's imperfect, and keep moving forward.

Shout to to Martha Brown for sponsoring this episode!!!! She’s all about getting your time back with leveraging technology

Transcript

Unknown: 1:23

Welcome back to the show, wake up and be wealthy. It is so important to start our day off right, and you you do have a choice. And today, on the podcast, we are talking about how to fearlessly adjust and trust. This is something that we were literally talking about in our team meeting today, and I this literally came out of my mind, Mama, my mouth. I was literally saying in tears, I get to adjust and trust. Adjust. I can't even say it correctly, adjust and trust. Adjust and trust. And I think that they really do go hand in hand, like those words are what intuitively came to me today, and I've been holding on to them and just regulating myself around them. And it is so true, like I can think back to other chapters in my life, where when I leaned into the trust as I was adjusting, it really did make a world of a difference. So this episode is sponsored by Martha. She's one of my most amazing clients and dear friends, and I love her so much. She's all about helping you get your time back by leveraging technology. And she has all sorts of ways that you can work with her. From PDFs that you can buy challenges that she's done, she can even help you along the way, whether that be brainstorming and even doing things for you. So check out her stand store. I linked everything for you so you can shop and connect with her. She's got an amazing Facebook group, and it's just so fun. And today, when I recorded the podcast episode was her birthday. So once this airs on the podcast, her birthday would have already passed, but nonetheless, happy birthday, Martha. We love you so much, and you are so incredible. And I have just literally been so proud of your progress and your growth and your confidence, like it is, like I'm living vicariously through you and the best way possible, like I've just have really enjoyed seeing your progress and your growth. So thank you for sponsoring this episode. Let's talk about this, adjusting and trusting. So if you spell out Trust, the U and the s are in there, right? So, like literally write out the word Trust, I'm going to write it again. Okay, so us is in there when you are trying to adjust on your own, it is hard to trust it. It really is you get like, I'm I'm just speaking from my own experience. You get in your own head. When you're trying to do scary things alone, it is so easy to to get into your own head. And so when I asked for the team meeting today, it like they were both so loving and so supportive, and it was exactly what I needed, and I just had this huge worry that I'm going to let them down. I don't want, you know, I don't want to slow down The Wealthy Mama Movement. Just natural, normal human feelings that leaders do have, and I choose to lead with vulnerability just as much as I lead with so many other qualities, but vulnerability is one of them, and so the the US and trust, right? I do believe is key. It is easier to trust when you've got a strong support system, and you get to call in your support system. So yesterday was my family, today was the team and really leaning in and making a plan and problem solving like there's no problem we can't solve truly like and when we lean on other people and really ask for support, and it does make the adjustments so much easier. I think back to the beginning of my online career, and as I was transitioning out of my day job, I felt so much uneasiness. I was extremely pregnant with my first daughter, Emma, and there was so much unknown, like everything that has now transpired in my online business was not even on my radar. I did not know what a funnel was. Yes, I What else did I not know? There was so much that I did not know, and so, like I did not know what a funnel was. I pushed away the label, coach or mentor like that made me feel really uncomfortable. And I was still new to video marketing, like I had done it, but knew it didn't have a podcast at the time I did. I did do a few episodes of a podcast, but I didn't have, like, a consistent podcast. I didn't have a team. I had no courses, like I I was so, like, naive and like, sometimes ignorance is bliss, like I was blindfully blissfully trusting the process. But it did scare me, like I felt so uneasy about the adjusting. But what always kept me going was you can do it. Like, if anyone can do it, you can do it. You know that you're an action taker. You know that you're willing to put in the work. You also know that you're stubborn and you're not going to stop until you reach your goals. That is just a quality that I have really honed in on. It's a skill like I do believe it is a skill that you get to choose to hone in on. Like I love studying people, and there's so many successful people on the online space, and there's people that do genuinely struggle. And what's interesting to me is a lot of the people that are struggling and they're not seeing progress, because there's a difference between having challenges and like, full blown like, it's this constant loop of of struggle and struggle and struggle. So like, this is not for the faint of heart. There are going to be growing pains. There's going to be challenges. But there is a giant difference between the people that are like, I've been doing this and I'm I've been doing this for years and I'm not making money, versus like, people that are like, oh, yeah, like, I'm seeing the growth, like I I'm seeing the the the progress, right? Like we do crave progress, and I want you to lean more so much more into you being afraid of not making progress versus being afraid of failure, because I do believe that that is what's separating people that are seeing success. It's because they're putting in the progress like, and they're putting in enough progress to see and feel the progress, right, like, they're putting in the steps people that, like, dip their toe in and then, like, revert back. And then they dip their dip their toe in, and they revert back. Of course, it's hard to see progress like, literally, think about your health and fitness. If you go to the gym every now and then, it would be almost impossible to have a six pack, right, to even get close to having a six pack. And but then you can't be mad if you don't have a six pack. And so there, there's a a giant misconception on the online space, and so, like, the biggest thing that I see separating the the two categories of people are the action takers. Like, if you know, you are willing to put in the work and you are willing to be flexible on how you get to your goals? Because, again, none of the things that I've actually accomplished in seven years, most of it, was not even on my radar. And so if I would have tried to, like, pigeonhole myself and say, Here's my business business plan, and I can't, you know, I can't, go out of this business plan, then I would probably not even be talking to right now. Like our podcast has almost 500 episodes on it. Like I have a team. I have reoccurring memberships. I have digital downloads. I have affiliate partnerships. I like it blows my mind, like the me seven years ago, was so afraid. She was so scared to step out and do her own thing, even though I had so much, so many skills, so much talent, so much success, it felt very scary to bet on myself fully, and you're going to feel the fear like the fear is not going just to magically go away. How the fear goes away? Is you taking more action? Because. Because the more action you take, you don't have time to even think about the fear. Like I have literally been purging my house all week. I have been scrubbing every surface in this house like it has been so therapeutic because we're going places and all the like. It doesn't surprise me that I've been feeling fear because I I literally know, like the the fearless focus found me just like the the abundance birthday bash, like on August 1. That's what I announced. Pretty much the same thing happened with September. It was like, it's going to be fearless, like, and it's fear dash less. Like, I literally said that to Sarah. I was like, that's what we're going to do. And she was like, Okay, let's do it. And so it found me, because it like, I needed this just as much as you did. And so what I know to do is what I'm exactly doing. It is releasing the emotions. It is being vulnerable. It is leaning in. It is leaning in when most people lean out and run away, and the when you can practice this anytime you feel fear, and you can lean into the fear, and you can look at right in the eyes and say, You mess with the wrong person, like you messed with the wrong person. I'm going to show you right. It's exactly why I've literally upgraded our whole house this week. I have scrubbed every surface I have literally a giant pile for donations, and one 800 got junk. They're coming tomorrow. I have literally purged a lot of my clothes and gotten new clothes, like literally new clothes, because everything is energy. I moved our furniture around. I'm shampooing our carpets. Finally, tomorrow, like I am a student of what I teach you to do, which is why I know my shit works like it works all day every day. I've proven it time and time again, and all of my action takers are the ones that get the results. And they're like, oh, this shit works. It's like, well, of course it works because you're working it. Let's keep on working it. Let's keep on working it. And so like the the ones that are not seeing the results, whether they're working with me or not, the ones that are not seeing the results, they're allowing the fear to literally stop them, and they think the fear is going to go away, and then they'll take the action. And that is just not true. It is literally you move through it, you clean your house, you go for a walk, you journal, you talk to your therapist, you talk to your significant other, you talk to a friend, your team, your mentor, your whatever you need to do. You You talk and release, and you and you go, take action, move the energy. Energy is meant to be moved. And so when you're adjusting through different chapters and you're up leveling, it is going to require a better, stronger, more committed you, and so that is the most important message that I need you to hear, is lean in when you want to lean out, and your brain is going to fight you. You're going to feel the resistance. You're going to hear probably some negative chatter, and you've just gotta lean in and do the opposite. So if it tells you to run away, you lean in. If you're like, oh my gosh, I don't want to go on Facebook live right now, you go on Facebook Live. It's kind of like opposite day, right? Like, you're like, oh my gosh, no one wants to hear this message. And you're like, No. If one person can benefit from this message, then I've done my job. That's always my goal, just one human at a time, that's always been my goal, that always will be my goal. I send the email, I do the Facebook Live, I clean the house, I get my steps in. I feel the fear. I release it, and I move forward like and when you can practice and hone this skill more and more and more you will reach every goal you will reach, every goal that you allow yourself to to reach truly, like you will absolutely reach every goal. And isn't that a pretty cool thing? Like it may not be in your timeline, like you may say you want to reach this goal by, you know, the end of the month, it may take you three more months. Is that so bad, right? Like we get so. Hung up on the timeline we get so hung up on, like, the$10,000 months, the $20,000 months, can we just let that fucking shit go? Like, can we just let that go? It really does not matter. Like, I talked about this on another episode, but like, I don't want a huge house, like, I want a simple life, like, I don't want to be stressed out with a huge mortgage. That does not sound fun to me. That sounds so stressful. I want to be a present mom. I want to be in the best shape, shape of my life. I want to have some cute clothes. I do want that because clothes make me happy. I want to have great students. I want to create content a small, lean team when I actually let go of everyone else's version of who I should be, how I should build my business, what I should do, when I should do it. Like the whole goal of becoming an entrepreneur is that you're your own boss, and so with that being said, you fearing failure is what is stopping you from everything that you desire, and it's not going to go away magically. However, as you adjust into this next chapter, as you adjust into this next level, the thing that I know to do is to literally Lean in, lean in and prepare like we were talking about Noah's Ark today, on on the call, because it was like, we've gotta build the boat, like we need a bigger boat, like we need a bigger boat. We have relied on marketing strategies that have served us really, really well, but we are scaling so fast, and that's what the team meeting was about today, of, like, how do we still keep that personal touch, but not at the detriment of anyone's mental health, including myself? Like, and that's really, really important, and I really want to model that for everyone that we support, because I don't want you know as you're growing like, I want you making crazy amounts of money. And so if I'm not modeling what that can look like, then when you get there, you're gonna be like, Nelly, like, what do I do? How do I not lose my mind? And so I'm willing to go first. I'm willing to to go first and model and share and be real. I don't know what what is that? What the I don't know what that hair is doing, but I'm willing to go first. I'm willing to share. I'm willing to make the mistakes. I'm willing to fall flat on my face. What did my husband say to me today? We were talking about it, something along the lines of, it was about failure, and it was like failing as many times as it takes. I will fail. Is it uncomfortable at times? Do I cringe? I'm like, oh, that's like the inner like perfectionist in me. But I will do it like I am willing to do it for the greater good. I'm willing to do it for my kids. I will fail as many times as it takes, as many times as it takes. Oh, that's what it was. My husband, Jared, was telling me how he was listening to a podcast episode where the savannah bananas, which is a very wildly successful team, the that, I believe he said, the CEO was sharing on a podcast episode that, like everything that they tried, that is now very, very successful for them, they failed. They failed miserably the first time. And that was a really humbling thing that to hear, because it is so easy to look at people super successful and be like, Oh well, it was, it was probably easy for them, right? And there's just so much that we don't know. There's so much that we don't know about people's journeys, about the behind the scenes, the deleted scenes, like, what they had to sacrifice to get there, and it you don't need to know everything. However, it can be helpful to hear those behind the scenes here, like, Oh, wow. Like, there's a super successful team, but like, they failed the first time, right? Okay, cool. So again, if you are willing to put in the work, if you are willing to fear less, day in and day out, just a little bit more, like just fear a little bit, you know, a little bit less, I should say, um, you'll be wildly successful. You will shock yourself. I was so afraid of starting my online business like it was crippling, but I knew I was going to still do it like, that's the thing, like I like I felt so I felt so paralyzed by the fear, but I was literally still moving. I was just like, well, I'm going to figure this out, like I again, like, lean in Right? Like I was feeling the fear. It was so uncomfortable. I was so pregnant, so I'm sure my hormones did not help. I chose to start my online business at the worst time. Literally, I was literally sending packages. We got induced with Emma, and we dropped off packages for like, my students. That was, like, one of my first programs, and they got packages. We dropped them off at the post office on our way to get induced. I'm not making this up. And so I was so young, I was I was I had no idea what was ahead of me. And I'm actually glad, because there's been good times and there's been challenging times. But even when I was talking to a client earlier this week, because she's at like, her the beginning phases, um, I told her I would never trade any of it, like Even on the hardest days where I am on my knees crying because I'm like, this is hard, this is overwhelming. I would not even trade it on those days. I just wouldn't it that the payoff is so much worth it and sharing what a mom can do and showing my kids our kids watch us more than they listen, if we're if we're being honest. So they watch us so much more, so much more. And so I don't hide my business from for my kids, especially my daughter. I want her to see a strong, independent woman, and what does that look like? So that way, it's just normal for her, right? Like, can you imagine the world will will live in when, like, it's just normal to be a strong woman and you don't feel put down by other people, right? Like, it's just, it's more normalized, it's more celebrated. I think that that is so needed in our world. So it starts with us. It really does start with us, which is so perfect of how to end this podcast episode, because the whole goal was adjust and trust. Maybe I'll get that as a tattoo, adjust and trust. And so it does help to have an us when it comes to the trust, because the unknown is scary, but if you're anything like me, like I'm pretty nosy, like I want to know, like, when I'm watching a show, if I can't binge it, I'm kind of not interested in watching it because I don't want to have to, I don't want to have to wait, and so the the more we can lean in, it really does help. And the the fear of the unknown is real. But be nosy. Be like, you know what? I've got my popcorn. I want to find out how this plays out, right? And just know, there's an infinite amount of ways to be successful, and it may take some twists and turns. It may go in a completely different direction, but if you still get to your desired destination or somewhere better, doesn't even matter, like at the end of the day, your business is supposed to first benefit you and your family, and I want to normalize that like it should be benefiting you and your family from a time aspect, a money aspect, a fulfillment aspect, an emotional aspect, Like every way it possibly can. It should be fulfilling you every step of the way. A lot like a relationship, there's going to be good days and there's going to be bad days, but like at the end of the day, for the most part, it should be positively impacting you. It should be fulfilling you. It should be compensating you every step of the way. It may be small right now, but this is a big thing that I see from so many people where they don't have that and they're like, Well, when I get to $10,000 month, then I'll feel those things. Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. We do not wait. Feel the feelings now, get them normalized in your body. Get Your Business used to compensating you, even if it's the smallest amount, train your business. Train yourself, right? The energetics of that is so important because it's. Literally telling yourself that you're that important. You're that important if, if your business pays you in a Starbucks coffee every week, that's better than nothing. If it pays for your groceries, that's better. That's way better than nothing, right? Like it can stair step, right? We don't want to get to the point where your business is suffering, right? It gets to be a win, win, but it does get to to impact you. It does get to compensate you. Does get to fill you up, because it's an extension of you. So we don't wait for that, even when we're in the adjusting, even when we're in the unknown, even when we're feeling fear, it should be benefiting you. It should be benefiting you as many ways as it possibly can. And that will create so much normalcy, of like, well, now I just want more, and then you want more, and then you want more. And there's nothing wrong with that. That's actually exactly what we need. That's like, the most important thing, because when it's normalized in your body, then it just becomes this stair step approach where you're like, oh, like, it's paying for my groceries. Now I want my business paying for my mortgage. Now I want my business paying for a trip to Disney for my kids. Now I want it to pay for this, right? Like, I love looking at tying your business to specifics of your life, because I think as moms, it's really like, it's really helpful for us. Of like, Oh my gosh. Like, my business paid for this, like, which means my work was, like, the work and effort that I put in impacted my family. It feels badass. I don't care what amount it is. It feels so badass, even when my business was very, very brand new. Like, again, like, super pregnant. We went on a honeymoon, not a honeymoon, a baby moon. And my business, at in the very early stages, was still bringing in money, and I was able to take a chunk of that and pay for our baby moon. And it was so nice to be like, it felt so fulfilling to me, like my whole goal of starting my online business was to be the mom that I wanted to be, and so being on that trip, knowing that my new business helped compensate for a baby moon like to help fund it, felt so incredible and like so The more we can feel those feelings along the way, it makes it all worth it. It makes you want to grow. And so the energetics of a business are really important. And I've gone a little rogue on this podcast episode, so you're welcome for bonus content, but I think it's really, really important to really lean in and adjust and trust and as you're adjusting, it doesn't have to be painful, like it's okay to cry, like we get to normalize that too, like I've not felt ashamed with a releasing emotions, because it is the most important thing to do. If we pin all of that up in your body, that's when you start to, like, your chest gets really tight, and you just get really, really tense, and so, like, the release of emotions, whether that is crying, whether it's laughing, whether it's, you know, screaming like it can be any sort of, like, release of emotions is so helpful. It's so healthy, and we get to, like, celebrate that more. And it doesn't have to be painful. It does not have to be painful, uncomfortable feelings, the more you get comfortable with them, won't feel as painful. And so that's where, like the the thing that works for me, everyone has their thing, and if you don't know your thing, you get to find your thing. But for me, cleaning, organizing and systematizing and walking or running. Oh, it is so good. I would also include shopping, but that's not always the healthiest one, so I like to be careful with that one, but it can be fun if it's something like, if I'm like, Oh my gosh, like even going grocery shopping, I'm like, we need groceries and I want to go spend money. So, like, perfect, right? But I try to, like, be cautious of that one. But the other ones, I think, are. So healthy and so therapeutic, and I'm moving my body, which means I'm also moving the energy, which also means I'm moving the emotions. And this is key you just sitting in the fear, waiting for it to go away, is it does not even make sense, right? You gotta move, right? Like, you gotta move to move the energy. And I think this is an ADHD thing. I'm almost positive, but I put on my tennis shoes like I put on my tennis shoes. And there's just something mentally that happens when Nelly has her tennis shoes on, like, even my husband knows this. Like when I have my tennis shoes on, it is, like, I call it mama mode, kind of like beast mode, but like when I put my tennis shoes on, she's here, like she's arrived, right? I'm taking care of business, and every new level is going to require a stronger, more committed you. The question is, are you ready? Are you ready? And you you get to confidently say yes, even if there's fear. How you know if you're really ready is if you're willing to do the work. That's a mic drop moment. That's how you really can answer that question. No matter if you have so much fear, you could literally be crippled with fear and be like, tell me what to do, right? Like, tell me what to do, and I'll do it right. Despite the fear, despite anything going on in your head, right? Doesn't mean that you're ignoring it, but that's when you know you're really ready for the next level. That was just like an intuitive download for you. So someone needed to hear that. That's how you actually know if you're ready. It's easy. It's so easy to talk a big game, like, oh my gosh, yeah. Like, I want 10,000 $10,000 months. Or, yes, I want to, you know, be debt free. Or, Yes, I want, you know, you know, 100 members of my membership, it's easy to talk. What did you do today? Right? Like, even if it's one thing, you're ready, you're ready it, we've gotta see the progress, and so that's how you know if you're actually ready for the next level of your wealthiest life is you're like my tennis shoes are on. I'm ready tell me what to do, and even not even tell me what to do, because then you're waiting. You just go, you you just start to do something, right? There's no perfect order here. I think people forget that. They're like, I don't want to mess this up. Guess what? You can't mess it up. It's your business. You can't mess it up. There's going to be no boss that writes you up. So let's just take that pressure off of you. Okay, we're just going to, like, take that pressure off of you. Because as women, we're going to clean up our messes. So even if it does make a mess, we're going to clean going to clean it up, right? That's what we know to do. We're going to clean it up. So there's no wrong way. You can't really mess it up to the point where it can't be cleaned up. Like, literally, like, look around. What's one thing that you can do? Oh, I know my house needs clean. You may be like, how does that relate to my business? We've gotta clear the energy. We've gotta align you. We've gotta make you feel good. Okay, well, what else do you know to do? Then we do the next thing, right? And you just keep asking yourself, okay, what's the next thing I know to do? You may hit a point where you're like, you need you. You do want to ask somebody like a mentor, but never wait, as a business owner, never wait, never wait for anyone else move, make a move and then make another move and make another move and make another move, you will get to wherever you're wanting to go when you're willing to make a move and then make another move. So I love you. I could talk to you forever, but I hope today this episode was really, really valuable to you, Martha, Martha, Martha. I love you. I love you. Love You So Much like truly, you have a really special place in my heart, so I hope you had an amazing birthday, and I will talk to you really soon, and I'll see you guys all on the next episode. You.