395. I'm Coming Home... (Nellie's Version)

On today's episode, Nellie shares some exciting news; SHE'S COMING HOME WITH HER BABIES!!

She shares about:

• Postpartum depression and stay-at-home mom journey.
• Scaling business while prioritizing mental health and family. 
• Balancing work and family life with a focus on financial management.
• Balancing work and motherhood with a focus on time freedom. 

Transcript

Unknown: 0:01

I was fixing my hoodie and got a little crazy there. So it was like, that's a perfect time to start having a weird mom. It builds so much character, doesn't it, doesn't it? So I'm super duper excited just to have like a real raw, unfiltered conversation around the announcement of me coming home and being a stay at home mom and I, there could be tears. We'll just see where this goes. I have a few notes. But I really wanted just to like chit chat about it. If you have questions, whether you're live or replay, please feel free to ask any and all questions. So I wanted to first start with what does that mean? Like coming home being a stay at home mom Nellies version? What does that mean? So I have never felt like I fit into any type of label of a box as far as a mom because I've had all different flavors over the last six years of having birthing two babies building a business. I've had childcare I've had not had childcare, I've had full time childcare, part time childcare, I've had a global pandemic where I'm still having to manage, you know, one child at that time, and clients and all the things and so I've had lots of different flavors of being a mom boss over the last six years. And I did not see this coming. Like I really did not see this coming. And I love that about life that it will surprise you. So I want to take you back to almost a year, like a year, last year, one year ago. So when it was we knew that we were going to have daycare for boon. But I wanted a longer maternity leave. And so I was still working and doing all the things. But I was with boon for a lot of the time and it made me feel good. Like it was harder, but it made me feel really good. And just you never get that time back. And although it's challenging, it can be really worth it. And so it did get to a point where my postpartum depression was all consuming. And so we were planning on having him start daycare last August, and I just had a heart to heart with my husband last year and I was just like, I need sooner like I I need sooner I am not well, I need any more support more breaks. I'm not well, I need I need some help. So there we go. There we go. Which was a really hard thing to ask for. Because I felt super, I don't want to say guilty. I don't love the word guilty. But I felt sad. Um, and so he was like all on board, which was amazing. So he Boone essentially went to daycare earlier than we predicted. But it was it was necessary like and I I promised that I would be really open about my postpartum depression. This round because I hit it. I hit it so much with Emma and just it felt way heavier when you're trying to hide it because then you like, you feel like you're like keeping a secret from people that you love. And so that it just based on my own experience that makes it like even harder and heavier and more isolating and all of the things and so it last summer, I will be super real with you. I was working my ass off. Both kids were in daycare full time. So although like Emma was transitioning to kindergarten, I sent her to daycare where Boone was going because I was like mom like Mama needs to like get this business back up where it needs to be. I'm I always have made money I will always make money i Making money is what I do best. It's what I teach other people to do. And but I needed to like get me right first and so I was like ramping up business again. Getting me right training for a half marathon. I like things started to feel lighter. Although I was working so much that summer like last summer. It's it was the season that I needed. Like it's my kids were fine. They were safe. I had a good time. The, the daycare that we still go to is phenomenal. Like I, I will recommend it to everyone like, we love that place so much. And so here was the interesting part for me, as I have been transitioning my business model, everything has changed. I do not accept any new clients. So I am going full passive income education products, templates, courses, memberships, you name it. And so I this has been in the works for a while, we have not accepted any new clients and months, months and months and months. And it was but it has been by design, we have not recruited new clients, we've turned down clients, people have begged us like you cannot get me one on one. And so that was happening before this decision happened. And it was mainly for my mental health. And also the vision that I have for the wealthy mama movement. As the CEO, and the visionary of what is in my mind, like what I see. I unfortunately, cannot be in one on one containers with clients because I even with childcare, I have very limited time. And so if that time is like, we're going for a big impact here. And so I have like I if you want my one on one time, I have to charge a premium. And so there's just this there was this balance between, do I continue to take on more one on one clients, and we just like, ride this out. And that that's like, a lot of people do that like, and I and I did that for years, like I just consulted and had a great book of clients. And they stayed with me for years. I don't know why I keep going like this. And so I just had to really pull back for a second and think about it's not like I love spending time with people one on one I like I obsess about people's businesses, I'm always thinking about people's businesses, when I work with them. It's not just like the one call that you get once a week or the on the go support like I am, like we are, we are energetically connected when we're working together. And I'm always thinking about you. And looking at ads and like people like I just don't think people realize, unless you've like, been on this side, like how much you obsess about somebody's business, you worry about them as a person you think about them, like you're just energetically connected. And so taking on a book of clients was starting to not make sense for the impact that I'm going for, I genuinely want to reach a million moms like that's like my big, audacious goal. It's, it's so big that it really drives me to dream bigger, and think smarter. And how can I reach a million moms without sacrificing my family time without sacrificing my my self care, my mental health. And what I do best is connecting, creating, collaborating. And so we behind the scenes have been really working on getting me out of the weeds and building assets and systems and automations. And so I say all of this because the universe always knows, like the universe always knows. So to the point where like, my business has gotten so light. So like, don't get me wrong, I'm still working my booty, like I still work my butt off. And the cool the clients that we we have right now they they know that they are welcome to stay as long as they like, like, I'm never gonna kick anyone out if, if we're, you know, 40 years old or 50 or 60 or 70. And they're like, I still want to work with you that we have such a small group of clients that you know, they can stay as long as they want so that they know that so by God the universe knows like the universe is always setting you up and you just have to trust the process. And that's probably one of the hardest things and so this has been in the works for a while and it is such my intuition at work because it was interesting. I have been going on a as I've been transitioning my business model we've been, we've been becoming really lean as a team meaning like no additional like, like expenses that are not necessary, really optimizing and utilizing the resources that we have, in my personal life, we've been looking at our finances, and so everything is always stalking. And so it just naturally came to like, Okay, what's what's daycare cost, like, and I know what it costs, but like, it was just like going through the numbers again, and it's $17,000 a year, like, if you've ever spent money with on daycare, you know, like, unless you're blessed, and you have like, like a family member that can watch your children, it adds up fast. And it's not just about the money, like, this was not just a money driven decision. However, it did play a part in it, because we've been reducing our food bills, like our food spending as a household. And that's been phenomenal. And then I just like, you know, we looked at the daycare costs and, and Boone will would have been in daycare for like another four years. So that adds up really, really fast. And so what I've been working on as an individual is just really assessing every single dollar, every single dollar, whether it's in my business, and my personal life, and really looking at now that I know so much about business and money management and optimizing my money. I look at it so differently, and it's so interesting to me, because when I was broke, like back in the day, and I would see people that were like very like well off, be like, like not not pinching pennies, but like being really really like, like intentional or picky with their money. Like I kind of judged them a little bit like as the broke me I was like, you're rolling in deep like why are you worried about a latte? Or why are you worried about you know, this, that the other one, whatever it may be, it was whatever it may have been, I remember being very judgy. So I'm sorry for those judgments to people that I don't even remember who they were. But that was besides the point but now that is me. I have not been to target all of 2024 and although it's March and that may not seem like a big deal to anyone else. Like I have not stepped foot in a target all year, all year. And that is huge. I went back to I went to Walley world and Walley world. Like I've just humbled myself. I didn't grow up having lots of money. And then I like women like I started making my own money when I before I could even drive because I realized if I wanted things, I'm going to have to work for them. And I'm actually really grateful for that because it's made me who I am. But I really think I went kind of like the pendulum. I went from never like being able to spend money on extra things, that when I started having money, I was like This feels good. And then I wanted to spend it. I wanted Starbucks all the time. DoorDash all the time. Target all the time. Like, I just I went so far right, that now like, I feel like I've really regulated and I'm like in the middle of the pendulum. So like, I'm still going to go to TJ Maxx. I'm still going to enjoy a Starbucks every now and then. But it just it feels so much more balanced. Like so much more balanced. So, so yeah, it's been it's been a few months of us making this decision because it is a big decision. And what really did it for me was when Boone had it was like some gunk in his eye back in January. And then we were pretty. We he he just he had some sort of virus so he was out of daycare for multiple days. And I just remember enjoying like not that I wanted him to be sick. But we enjoyed each other. And that was it. It was multiple days. And I was still like running my business and all of the things and that was the biggest thing for me. I was like, okay, my baby is literally like he's already taking his first few steps. Like we haven't fully gotten there yet, but he's close. And so he's only Gotta be so little once, like, no one goes to the end of their life. And goes, You know what, I wish I would have worked more. I wish I would have been away from my kids more. And so I just want to live with no regrets. And I came to peace with I am okay, waking up earlier, I did it with Emma, when I had no childcare, I am okay. Working at naptime. I'm okay working after they go to bed like so my life is going to look different. So that's what brings me to, like, Okay, what does this look like? So I stay, I say, stay at home mom. Because the goal is I'm home like, we are home together, spending lots and lots of quality time together. So I feel as close to that label. Because I don't want to be a work from home mom, because that means I'm working. I don't want to work. I want to retire and teach for one one day, a month, like type of thing. And then my content, like content, to me is different, like anything that I can do. That is not like has to be done. Right? This second. Like even this live video feels so incredibly good to me. Because it was like, when does it energetically work for me. So I only want to have to be like on and committed, like one day a week where you get me. If you're in our like community, you know that that's like a super special day. And then everything else, you'll still get me but it will be more on demand. Right? It will be more on the go. You can still ask me questions. So it's like, it's the best of both worlds. Because even without kids, my energy thrives in that type of setting like it thrives because I may need longer in the morning to get myself to the energetic state that I need to be at. I may not right and so every day, even without children looks so different for me as just how I'm like wired as a person. And when I look back to like, all the past few years, like it makes so much more sense to me. So I will still be working, I will still be growing my my business and I don't even love the word business like this is a vision this is this is like I was a nonprofit organization. Like I grew a nonprofit organization for 10 years. So we are a for profit, I went through, you're kind of just given, I'm just giving you everything here. I went through and actually filed for a nonprofit, so we're going to be a dual like running business. And then I realized, that's a lot of work. Why, like I can, I can create a mission driven company that does a lot of good. Like the the trade off to that is like tax write offs for people. However, I feel like when you are contributing to a for profit company that you know, is doing a lot of freaking good. Like, I don't know, I can only speak for myself, I'm like, not really worried about a tax write off. I just want to be a part of that type of energy. Right? So I've like the vision that I have for my business is really that like pendulum of like, I've experienced, like, all the all the feelings around money, and all the things from from making it to, to spending it to investing it. And now I'm just like right back in, like, I'm kind of like just hanging out in the middle there. And it feels really, really good. So I think it's important to support moms with how they want to make money because it's important to me to have my own path just as much as I want every woman to have their own path. And so, I've I'm already thinking about, okay, what is this going to look like because I want it to feel good. Like I want it to feel really, really good. And it not get to the point where it's exhausting because that's not what it's supposed to be. It's supposed to be enjoyable. So I will have both of my babies home for summer. And then Emma will go on to first grade. So we'll we'll drop her off and pick her up and come back home. So I am actually going to be using the Spring Break, that is coming up as a test, like a little test run. Because that'll give me a really good sample of like, okay, I have a vision in my head of like how the day is going to run, how I'm going to be able to accomplish what I need to accomplish. And not just for my business, but like self care, right, like working out meditating, journaling, like I want this to be like, everyone's thriving, including myself. So I'm really going to utilize spring break as like a little test run. So that way, I'm just more better prepared for summer, because I'm going to have both of them home for summer. And then from there, we'll go into fall. So there's like, there's a beautiful horizon. And I also know that there's still going to be moments of like, I'm overstimulated, I'm over touched, like to say that I'm like, it's always going to be like rainbows and butterflies is just not realistic. But I feel like this just is going to land so much differently, that those moments where I do get overstimulated or over touched, I can take a step back, and I'll already have like protocols in place that it's like, okay, Mama needs to go take a drive or Mama, Mama needs to go clean the house or whatever it may be. So I'm already thinking of like a summer schedule, because I don't want the kids on the screens all day like, Excuse me, I want to say like, go have fun. I want them to create content with me. And that's, that's like another thing that I wanted to talk about. I will not hide that mom is running a business. Mom is making money. Do I want it to consume our whole day? Heck, no. But Emma is very aware of what I do, like in her own way. But she is very, very aware. And I want that to continue. And I want them seeing that, oh my gosh, mom gets to be with us and make money. And like, how cool is that? Like, we're forging a new way that didn't exist at one point. Like it's really, really cool when you like step back. And, and think about it. So like I said, spring break is a test run, I'm looking at my notes. So my game plan, like I want to end with like some tactics and strategy because I can't help myself. So the goal is I am working smarter, not harder. That's the whole summary of what passive income is, if passive income kind of trips you up. It's working smarter, not harder, right? If you had 40 hours to work in a week, and you had one job that was going to pay you $15 an hour, and you had another job that was going to pay you, let's say $150 an hour. And you actually you liked both right. And they both like what made sense, besides the money, most people logically would pick the the higher amount per hour, work smarter, not harder, because then you have all of this surplus that then you could put in the stock market. Right, you could start a side hustle if you really wanted to, right? So it's like, if every way of making money that's legal, can be passive income, when you start to look at it that way, because that's what passive income is. It's working smarter, not harder. It's leveraging your time, it's the goal is that you work less that you're able to create assets. So although if you are working and getting paid hourly, you could argue that it's not passive income. But if you can take a surplus of that money and invest it in stocks, then your your day job helped you do that. So I see that as passive income. It's kind of like a BFF to passive income. So when you just start to look at everything, as if it all is passive income worthy, then every like every revenue stream can work together. And when you are working smarter, not harder. you're leveraging you and all of your time to hit bigger goals that you have. So with that being said, I am really looking at what can we do ahead of time, like we're already getting ahead and our content, where we will be done recording content before summer happens like that's already scheduled. It's already happening. So from day to day, I'll do stories, I'll do extra reels. But what has been beautiful about the shift of planning and preparing our content is I never feel like I have to do which has just opened up this beautiful amount of creativity that has always been there. But when you always feel like you're on the spot and you're needing to produce content, it really, it drowns that creativity, because you're just in like, fight or flight mode, and you're just like, Ah, I've got to get something out there. So, we that is no longer allowed. In my world, like it just, I do not love that energy. It does not do anyone any good. And so just the more ahead that we can be, the better. So, like I said, we'll already be done with planning content, recording it, and then the team takes it and edits it. And schedule that. So content is huge in that they've been repurposing things for our, our email list. And we have one big launch before summer. And so that's getting me really, really excited because I'm like, okay, Mom was ready, let's go. So we're planning and preparing for that. We're wrapping up our website, we're really just getting the foundational pieces of this next, this next phase complete. As every version of my business has evolved, it's always required an update, just like the iPhone, right? Like, it's just always required an update shift, brand colors, website, copy messaging, like, you know, I've been working on our behind the scenes making of the movement content, it hasn't released yet, but I want people to really see what it takes, like, I put in a lot of time and effort and strategy and research. And like, I want people to see that because I haven't seen many people show the behind the scenes, like they'll show every like now and then. But like I want to show you so we're going to be card. Very excited about this, I already have the first draft. So I at the nonprofit we like legally you have to disclose like your impact reports and like, what you're doing with the money and all of those things. And so on our new website, we're going to start doing a quarterly Impact Report. And I'm very excited about it. So although we are a for profit, privately traded company, I really want to take you behind the scenes of my profit first numbers, what's working? What am I doing? Like, what what are things costing, this has been something that I've wanted to do for a while, but I haven't had the mental capacity to do it to be honest. And I already have the first round, draft it like I need to add to it. But I think it's just so important. Like you'll see the people online and, you know, everyone can always do what they want. But you'll see the people that are like, you know, holding balloons and shouting out, like what they've made. And it's just, it's just the beginning of the conversation. Like, there's so much financially that goes into a business that I think people forget about, and then they start chasing that $10,000 month that that, you know, $10 million business and it's like, who do you know, all the line items that like that company is having to like? Like, right, like, it's a lot it's a lot to hold. But they're giving you the sexy piece right? And I want to get I want to give you the the emotional impact piece I want. Like a big value of mine has always been share the wealth. So although we're a for profit company, I want to be doing more giveaways. I want to continue to have affordable education, free education, a free group that people can come into and be a wealthy mama member for free and network and get to know other women and like it's almost like it's the wealthy mama lounge and it's just virtual for right now. Hint, hint, wink, wink. So we're wrapping my jeep and pink. So it's just like, I'm finally making some really big moves that I've wanted to make for a while. And I it just you could say that it wasn't time and also I just didn't have the mental capacity that I needed. And so the next few months are going to be so beautiful and so amazing and just even the rest of the year. but really like, I've got to give some credit to my past self, because the she won't get a lot of the credit. And she's the one that like put in the tears and the the work and got back up and like believed in herself just as much as your past self has done that. And it's just like we get to appreciate that more. And so, this summer is going to look completely opposite of what last summer looked like. And I don't regret last summer. Like I said, it's exactly what I needed. But I don't want that to repeat. Like, at the end of the summer, I was kind of sad. So it's like, it's what, it's what needed to happen. But it's not what I wanted to have happen, if that makes sense. And so I'm already thinking of trip, like field trips that we're going to take this summer, and like summer is so freaking fast. Like it's so fast. So like field trips, that we're going to take activities that we're going to do at home, we're going to have slow mornings. And like it's just, it's going to be good. Like, I can't wait, I will be like sharing more detailed plans as we progress. But I just I don't have them yet. I it's something that is like I'm marinating on I'm gonna use spring break, like I said as like a, a test run to see how things feel. What do I need to tweak? What do I need to do differently? And then we'll get more detailed of like, what we're going to do, why we're doing it, how am I still growing my business. And really, at the end of the day, my business running in the summer, like smoothly comes down to the next few months. Like honestly, there's so much planning and prepping that I can do that will take my workload down so much. And so that's really what it comes down to. Is the planning and the preparing, and the automations. So like, really being like, okay, which ads need to be up during summer, what what are our lead generation goals, I'm not taking on any like podcast interviews in the summer, like, so it's like a summer type type of schedule. So it's crazy that moms have to think this far in advance, but you got to like, it's already mid March and April and May. So it's two and a half months away, that it's gonna go so fast. So it's like, you have to be ready. And this is like the perfect time to do it. So I didn't cry that much. I'm really proud of myself. I'm very, very excited about this. And everyone's been so supportive. And I just wanted to be like genuinely honest of like, what it means like my version of being a stay at home mom, because it's so funny, I said I'll never be a stay at home mom. But it's because I was always thinking about everyone else's version. Me being home with my babies, and like making a cup of coffee and playing with them. And then allowing them to have like independent play, and me doing like something that I want to do for myself, whether it's worked out or you know, create content, we do commercials for businesses, so I can do that in my own time. So it's like, the business model that I've been engineering for a while now was exactly what I needed it to be. So it's like you have to go through multiple versions of what you're doing and how you're doing it to really like, land on like, Okay, this is what feels really good to me. And then everything starts clicking into place very, very fast. Like, I did not see this coming. I did not see this coming. And then it was just like one day. I know that sounds so cheesy, but one day, it was just like this epiphany of like, he doesn't have to go to daycare like and I would have not even entertained the idea if I didn't have the months leading up to that of shifting my business model looking at things differently. It's starting to feel incredible me, you know, really starting to take care of myself more and more and more. And then that just like epiphany moment of like, I really think I can do this. Like, I really think I can do this. And then just the more I sat with it and processed it just to make sure it wasn't like an impulsive idea where it was like okay, Nellie, you really think you're gonna do this? It was like no, I really do. Like, and I really sat with it. I was like, I can do this. I've got an amazing team. We've been you know, just kicking ass. And I want to show other moms that You can do motherhood the way you want to do that feels incredible to you, and still make money. So all the behind the scenes will still be happening, sharing everything. And I told even Sarah today, I have about three and a half years for we'll just say four before Boon will go to kindergarten. Just imagine where my vision will be in four years. Like, just slow and steady progress has been how I've done this for forever, and I'm that's not going to change. And so, yeah, it's just really cool. When you step back and really think about, well, what do I want, and then you go for it. And then you're like, This feels really good. Like I am giddy about summer. Like, I am not scared about having two kids at home. I feel excited about it. I'm like, the fact that I'm not going to have to like, wake up to kids get two kids immediately dressed. Make breakfast, make lunches, throw everything in the car, go drop off two kids at two different locations. That's a vacation to me, like not having to do that is like a homerun for me, because the morning hustle is what we're going to call it is exhausting to me, like anyone else, like the morning hustle is exhausting. And so the summer, there will not be anything scheduled. Like if if anyone wants to have a playdate, it's not going to be until like 11am like because I want to have slow mornings, and be able to just to like, they can wake up when they want to we can make a hot breakfast, like I've just been, like really daydreaming and like, Okay, we're gonna go from, you know, having a slow morning to then getting dressed. And if we're not going anywhere, we're going to do like a learning activity, like something fun with our hands, like something sensory, get outside, then have lunch, then do naptime. And like if both of them or one of them is not going to nap, then it's the least quiet time, no screens, you have to sit and stare at the wall, or read a book, but like from one to three is quiet time. And that's going to be like my time too. So I'm really going to use that and be like very strict about that. There's a mom that I really admire. And she's very, very strict about that 123 timeframe. And my theory is, you know, if you can independently quietly play, but there's no TV, there are no screens during 123 like your brain, everyone's brain needs a break. So that will be like my quiet time kind of like a study hall. We'll see how that goes every day will be a little bit different but boon is still like good for a solid like nap. It'll just you know how kids are. So but my backup is the quiet time. So that's why I want to use spring break to see like test my ideas. But yeah, and then after that, it's like snack, afternoon chill time dinner, and then bed and bath. Like it goes really fast when you really break it down. And I don't want to have to have a ton to do after you know bed and bath because quite honestly, I'm pretty like my brain is pretty much at that point. So if anything, it would be like quick check ins on Facebook or Instagram like quick check ins with the team. I don't want to have a ton to do in the evenings. So yeah, okay. All the yawning which tells me I get to go to bed so but yeah, I I just think it's really really important to support moms and cheer each other on. And like be an example for other moms of like, Ooh, I like how Nellie is doing this. I want to like do my own version. Just that time freedom is what I have craved since day one. And then like if I'm being honest, I lost I lost my way and it was get an office space and work book like so many hours like i i worked more hours like and this is like hours on like client back to back to back that a task lists at night and it was just like No wonder my mental health was like depleted. Like I just spent so much time living in a lifestyle That was not conducive for me and then grew a human right, like grew a second human. And then like, was just going through all of that. So it was just, it was a challenging time. And when it's not authentically a way that you thrive, it already is off, right? Like before you even do anything. So then, like when I had been home those days that he didn't feel good. It felt amazing, like besides him feeling bad, like, I didn't have to go anywhere, right? I feel like no one was like, dependent on me. And I still did business things. And so that was just like, the big catalyst for me because I was like, this felt good. Like, just being with my baby. There's just something to be said about it. And then there's just been a few times since we made that decision. It's so interesting to me, since we've made the decision that you like, clings on to me at daycare, because he'll be going there until June 1. And he like clings on to me and he looks in my eye. He like looks right in my eyes. Like, wait a second. Why are you taking me here? You already made the decision is like what it feels like and then hold cried. I'm like, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. We're almost there. We're almost there. I need the next few months to get ready. So it's like he knows he's so smart. So if you have any questions, let me know. And yeah, I'm really excited. Welcome to my TED Talk. Thank you for coming. And I'm going to go to bed