390. One Year Left To Live...

On this episode of the podcast, Nellie asks the tough question, "If you knew you only had one year to live, what would you do, what would you change about your day to day?"

We will chat about:

• Aligning life priorities
• Quality of life
• Your passions
• Resisting the urge to change
• Making intentional choices

Today's sponsor is Kathy Marlink with Our Treasure Box Liquidation. She provides a unique range of products, new and used, exceptional customer service, and great experiences.

Transcript

Unknown: 0:01

I have a big loaded question for you. And I really think it could help you see where you're out of alignment and deep, deep ways and help you move through it very quickly. So I want to make sure before I ask the question that you're in the right energy to, to answer the question. So this is something that you're going to want to like, think about and ponder and be with, for at least a day and really think about your life. And this is so important, like this is, this is the most important question, I think that I can ask you ever, like ever, ever, ever? And so the question is, if you knew that you had only one year left to live, so 365 days? What What would you change? What? What would change from your day to day? What would change from what you're worrying about in your brain? What would change in your environment? What would you want to do more of who would you want to be more around like, the quality of our lives, however long they are, is the most important thing. And from day to day, we are truly a lot of times moving through the day, hustle and bustle, and in a lot of times to survival mode, and then like we collapse into bed, and then we do it, it's like Groundhog Day, right? Like we do it all again. And it's almost like we live in this space of like, we're invincible like, well, you know, since I'm 33, like, I'm gonna live forever, like, I don't need to, like worry about enjoying my life right now type of thing. And so it doesn't feel that important, typically. But yet, it is so important. And it's the question that I've been really setting with. And I've been making very big moves. And, and from the space of this question, because I don't know how long I have to live. And I don't want to live with regrets. And the thing that I know to be absolutely true is I will not look back on my life and be like, You know what, I wish I would have worked more. I wish I would have worried more. I wish I would have, you know, second guessed myself more. Like that's not gonna be anything that I would ever say like, and maybe you're the same way. And so this is the biggest question because it's a way for you to really get in full alignment now to enjoy your life. Now, the biggest ultimate scam is most humans spend most of their life working, and they get typically, like 11 years of retirement to live. But there's so much older their kids if they had kids are grown and doing their own thing. And it's like, like, just because everyone else is doing that. Like what like why do we have to do that? Like, I've been really pushing back on society norms. And it's like, really like taking my own voice back of like, well, does that feel good to me? Like, do I want that there is always another way. Like, there's always another way. And a lot of times it can be so easy to fall into well, a day job is protection. I get that paycheck week to week, but I feel like COVID and even the recession, with massive layoffs have proven that to not be true. Like, it is not fully true. These companies have done massive layoffs, over COVID over recessions, that really you are the solution like you betting on you, you building your own revenue streams, is how you're going to be able to build the ultimate freedom based life that is filled with so much quality and that's why I'm so passionate about passive income because you can go from a day job to then having 20 clients and being even more stressed. So there is like it like your business model does matter. And not all business models are created equal just as much as all day jobs are not created equal. And there's nothing wrong with having a day job if you love it if they're treating you amazing if you still feel like you have you know the time that you want with your family like there's no wrong answer. There's just the right answer for you. And is that what you're operating in? Now I I'm really stepping into being this aspiring, minimalist and looking at every aspect of our lives and every decision so differently. And it's all coming down to that question of quality of life like My kids are only little once like, I want to be even more present for them. I don't want to have to live in constant chaos as a mom, like, can we? Can we as moms rebel and say, like, Why do I have to be the one that's always in chaos, like, we're 90% packed for Disney days ahead. Because of that reason, I refused to be the person trying to get my whole family packed, you know, up up until 2am. Because, you know, life and all of the things. And so I refused for that to be my reality. So I started packing last weekend, and we're like, 90%, there. And we're days away, and my stress levels are so low, I don't want to I didn't want to be a frazzled mess, and then get little sleep. And then I'm trying to get to kids on a plane, and I'm tired. Like, I chose that not to be my reality. And so like, this is just so important that we remember who's in the driver's seat of your life, like, what destination? Are you wanting to head to? Who's in the car with you like, the more we can really recognize? What is your quality of life? How would you change? And what would you change, if you only have 365 days left to live, like, you would go on the trips, you would leave the day job that doesn't feel good to you, you would, you know, build passive income, you would want to spend more time with your kids, you would want to get all the fish out of your home that just doesn't. It's not even like it doesn't even mean anything to you. It's just stressing you out. Right? Like, it's just so important that we like, why, like, why are we not living that way now, and I I've been sitting with that question on, in addition to, you know, the alignment and how I want to live and the quality of life. So before I share that piece, I do want to give a shout out to our episode sponsor, which is Kathy marlink. She's amazing. She has a amazing, amazing Facebook group where she has deals upon deals for things that you may be needing, like household items. It's like your own Amazon. So like, I guess I want it like I'm an aspiring minimalist, but like, there also is like, there's things that you need. So it's like checking out her group, you're supporting another woman, she gets really like great liquidation deals. So like being a part of her Facebook group is huge, just to see like, what the deals are. And I know she always is giving back to charities. And I love I love anytime we can support another woman woman to do that. So check out her link in the show notes or the description of the video depending on where you're watching or listening to this, but I wanted to make sure I give gave her a shout out. And if you want to sponsor an episode, just go ahead and send me a DM on social media. And we can get you in the queue of all of the episodes, we repurpose the episode. So we record them live. And then they go on to our actual podcasts and our blog. So there's lots of good long term like marketing benefits there. And they're $25. So if you want a little shout out and a great way just to get more exposure for your brand, I would love to sponsor you and give you a shout out. So thank you Kathy Kathy, for sponsoring today. So let's get into the second part of the question. So I'm sure if you start with the first question of like, what would you change? What would you do more of what would you do less of if you knew you have 365 days left to live? There's probably some stuff there. Right? And then the second question that I've been asking myself is, well, why have I not changed those things in the past? Like, even as recent as like the last few months? Like if I knew Oh, yeah, I wouldn't do that. Or I would do more of this. Like, why? Why was I not like automatically changing those things. And so this is what I've been sitting with. And I, I watched a reel last week, and it was exactly what I needed to hear. I was like searching for the answer to this. And so she said something so profound. And when I say it to you, maybe it'll give you this mind blowing moment that I had. So she said most people do not change, because the price of staying the same is cheaper than the price of changing. And until the price of staying the same is more expensive, then people will always for the most part, stay the same or they'll start to change but then they'll go back because of like if you think of like sales psychology for a second, most people are always going to pick the cheaper option. Not always Don't come at me. But most people most of the times psychologically when they see like If you're shopping at the grocery store, and you see strawberries for $4, and strawberries for $8, and they look pretty similar, right? Like, for the most part, most people will pick the cheaper option, right. And so until the price of your life is staying the same is too expensive. Most people will stay the same, even though they want to be healthier, even though they want to live more, they want to be with their family, they want to make more money, they like they want to travel, like the desires are not enough for most human brains. And so I can I like when I saw that reel, and I sat with it, it made me sad, honestly, like, it did make me sad. Like, if I'm being super honest, I was like, man, we need that much of like a wake up call to like, permanently change like, this is why you do see a lot of people like if they have a heart attack, they then get healthy because the doctor is like, dude, if you don't, you don't get healthy, like you're not going to live right? Or when somebody is they get fired from a job. And then they like I've seen this happen, they get fired from a job or laid off and more laid off than anything but laid off from a job and then they like, like, like, like massively grow their business more than they ever had before. It's because like the resistance, right, like, okay, like It's sink or swim moment in our brains. So this makes me sad, because it's like, it takes that much of pain, like those things feel very painful to me like to have a heart attack. And then you know, your doctor have like a come to Jesus moment, or you get laid off from your job. And then you're like, it's a sink or swim moment. And so it didn't really It didn't make me sad. That was like my first initial like, feelings around it. And then I started looking at my life. And when I have permanently made change, versus when I self sabotage. And I can see similar, similar patterns where it was like, I tried and tried and tried to get healthy. Many, many times, like all like not nearly as close as a heart attack by any stretch of the imagination. That's a very, very serious thing. However, when you like the pain of trying over and over and over, then I finally like after so many painful moments of like, failing, then I finally made permanent change. And this still equally makes me sad, because I'm like, man, like, if we could just do it, like, the first time you want to get healthy is the first time and the only time right like, then you're able to like permanently make the change or like the first time that you want to pay off debt is the first and only time like, you know, wouldn't that be nice? Like what it like? And I'm just being real? Like, wouldn't that be nice? Like, why as humans do we feel like we have to suffer and go through so much pain to then finally have the permanent lasting change that we desired the whole time. Right? Like, everyone, for the most part desires to be healthier desires to have more time, freedom, desire to have more fun money freedom, like if you surveyed a bunch of people i The it would be unanimous most people are gonna say yeah, I would love to be like healthier, happier, wealthier, right? Like, it's going to be like a no brainer that like, of course I would. But then when we like, pull back the curtains, and their life is not in alignment with that, then they're in the bucket of the price of staying the same is cheaper than the price of changing and trance trance, transformation to those desires. The desires are too expensive. And most people when things are too expensive, even if they know, it could bless their life, it could impact their health, it could impact their wealth, it could impact their family. Like logically that makes sense to most of our brains, but it's too expensive. And so this is just something that I've been sitting with and like really pondering because it genuinely makes me sad that I have chosen subconsciously to put myself through so much pain of going going towards a desire and then you know self sabotaging, moving backwards, and then trying again. And then moving backwards and then trying again and then moving backwards. And then finally that the pain of the hamster wheel right the loop is finally too much that I'm like, Yes, let's go let's go. Let's go right like I've seen that in my money. I've seen that in my head. else, I have seen that in my environment, right? Like the being the inspiring, minimalist, like, I can't tell you how many times I've decluttered my home, and then it fills back up. So that's a cycle that needs to break. And so this time, I'm like, this is different, like, I don't want to keep going in this cycle. But I've been decluttering my home for years. So it's like, again, like thinking about this question is like, the price of staying the same, is now too expensive. I don't want to stay the same. Like, there's nothing that can stop me, like, I've drawn the line in the sand. So it's like, now that we know this, can we manufacture? Like, we're just gonna get like really technical, like now that you know, all of this information now that I know all of this information? How can we manufacture this moment to avoid more pain? To eliminate the pain to choose not to put ourselves through that pain? You even heard me, I'm refusing, like, I refuse to be the mom. That was up till 2am The night before Disney stressed out trying to pack everyone realizing that we didn't have enough clothes, right? Like it being too late saying okay, well, I guess we're gonna have to, to figure it out. Right? Like, I refuse to be that person. But me a few years ago, may have been that person. Right? So it's like, how can we? My nose keeps itching? How can we manufacture that so we avoid so much pain. Because staying in that continuous loop, I call this the upside down if you've ever watched Stranger Things, like it's being in the upside down and you can't get out of the upside down, but yet you can hear the other world. Like if you've watched Stranger Things, you know what I'm talking about, but it sounds like really muscley and you're like, I I'm so close. And that is so frustrating to where you're so close to, you know, whatever it may be, but you can't get through. So it's like, really? When we look at the question of how can you make your current reality that you do not love more expensive, that's how we manufacture it, making it too expensive to stay the same. You manufacturing that in your mind of it's too expensive to stay the same will turn on I think this light switch that's at least what I've been experiencing. So me saying I refuse to do blank. I refuse to be the burnout mom, I refuse to have a home that's in chaos. I refuse to be chaos. I refuse to like, just like that alone is helping me say like, no, like I I'm not accepting that this is going to be my reality. It's too expensive for me to be on that plane exhausted, stressed out anxious beyond anxious, right? That's not good for it. No one wins in that scenario, like, absolutely no one wins. Me being a regulated mom as much as I can on that plane, right? It's our first time flying with kiddos like I want to be as regulated as I can. I want to be as prepared as I can, knowing that it's not going to be perfect. Like, we're not expecting perfection here. But like me being regulated will help the process. Right. And so I just want you to take time to think about those two questions today. What would you change if you knew you only have 365 days to live? And how can you make your current reality more expensive, that it's inevitable that you create the change because it's actually cheaper to move forward. And that can look really practical, with like just you saying things like I was sharing you, you know, doing like buying things decluttering your home, right? Like I love the practical stuff, because it will help you manufacture that it's actually cheaper to, to change, to move forward. And thinking about that. And then once you've gotten some momentum, it really does become like autopilot just as much as your current life is right? Like you're on autopilot. Typically, most likely right now we're just going through the motions, right? Kids are waking up, you're getting them dressed, you're getting them out the door, you're getting yourself put together, you're doing the dishes like you're on autopilot. So we just need to get you on a different autopilot that is actually a better, more quality based life that you actually enjoy. It's not about waiting to enjoy your life. We enjoy our life more now. And you can do that no matter where you're at in your reality by starting to manufacture it in and create it just as if you are the creator in Minecraft right like create your reality. Be back in the driver's seat. Go and watch everything, like start to quickly transform in your life. It's huge like it is. So life changing, when you really look at things so differently. And you'll be so much more peaceful as you move through your life. And you'll make more aligned decisions every step of the way, because you're so centered and focused on what really matters to you. So get back in the driver's seat, take your voice back, sit with these questions, go for a drive, go for a walk journal about them really, like Be honest with yourself about your reality? And what you would change what would you do more of what would you do less of and how can we manufacture it being cheaper for you to create the change, and it too expensive for you to stay the same. And that is our that's what we think that's what we say. And that's what we do. Like, we we've got to connect all of those together. And I'm happy to support you happy to help you through that whole entire process. And I want you to feel what I feel too. So come join me hang out. Let's, let's love life together. And just do this together. And it's so perfect because my hoodie today. So together, we go far. And this is my this is one of my favorite hoodies and as an aspiring minimalist, I don't have a lot of clothes anymore. So this is ultimately like one of my favorite hoodies. I love how it feels. I love the message. I feel differently when I wear it. And that's how every aspect of our life should feel everything has purpose, meaning it has a place. It has joy, it has excitement. There's a plan, right? Like all of the things are working together for your highest good and for your family. My family is my most important priority. And I've been making shifts to make sure that my actions aligned with that desire. So it's not just a desire, it's not enough for it to be a desire my actions get to back that up. So that way there's evidence of like, yeah, no, that's like, I'm not just saying it like I'm, I'm being it. I'm doing it. I am it right. So I love you so much. You're amazing. And you've got this you've got this if you have any questions just let me know.