Wake Up & Be Wealthy Podcast

409. Wealth Doodle - Fear and Limiting Beliefs

July 31, 2024 Nellie

FEAR…face everything and rise! Let’s doodle about it!!! 

We will touch on:

  • Facing fears and limiting beliefs with personal anecdotes and strategies.
  • Facing fears and limiting beliefs through simplicity and self-love.
  • Limiting beliefs and affirmations to overcome self-doubt.
  • Reprogramming beliefs and overcoming self-doubt as a busy mom.
  • Managing fears and limiting beliefs through protocols and self-reflection.

Shout out to Jennifer Courtright with The Courtright Group at Keller Williams for sponsoring this doodle. I’m so grateful for you!

Unknown:

It is time to talk about fear, dun, dun, dun, dun, and limiting beliefs, dun, dun, dun, dun. It does not have to be doom and gloom, I promise. And just for a little distraction, look at those pretty balloons. You can't be you can't be sad when you have balloons. So give me hashtag live, hashtag replay. I want to shout out our doodle sponsor, which is Jennifer Courtright with the Courtright group. She has an amazing real estate team based in Marysville, Ohio, and they are so well equipped to help you buy and or sell your home. They give back to the community. They they are so knowledgeable and so sweet and so caring and like are going to take care, good care of you. So if you are near Marysville, Ohio, make sure that you connect with Jennifer and you will not regret it. So thank you, Jennifer for sponsoring this doodle, because it's an important one. It's a very important one. I have been blessed to have private time with so many incredible women over all the years. We're talking about 1000s and 1000s of hours. I don't even know how I could even add up how many hours I have been on calls, one on one, small groups, conferences, events, retreats. You know, all of it, and fear is a big, big thing, and limiting beliefs are right there up with with the fear. I really do love the saying for fear of face everything and rise, because you can also fear everything and run away. So we really do have the choice, and it's not always easy to to face it, and it can be painful and uncomfortable and emotional and all of the things and so I do believe your tools and your resources are critical, because in those moments of fear and limiting beliefs, you can work through everything so much quicker when you're well equipped with the tools and the resources. So I thought it'd be impactful if I gave you a few of my common fears, slash limiting beliefs, and I show you one thing that I do. So we are all human. We have so many thoughts, so much, so many emotions, some we don't even know how to like fully process, and we work through that, right? And we have so many life experiences programming. So much is happening subconsciously. There's so much happening internally and externally. So there, there's bound to be some fears and limiting beliefs and emotions come up and it, it is so challenging at times, and so uncomfortable. And so I just, I can't stress that enough, and I just, if you're feeling any of those feelings, I just want to witness you, because they are so real, and you don't have to stay there. If you need to stay there for a second, you can, but you don't have to stay there. So when you're ready to choose again, I want you to try this out, because it really does serve and support me and so you moving and taking action is helpful. However, I do believe, in a way, it's putting a band aid on fear and limiting beliefs, because I can go clean my whole home and be a busy body, and it will help shift, shift my energy and help me work through some things. But when we're talking about the deep rooted fears and limiting beliefs, the minute you stop cleaning your home or the minute you stop serving a client, or, you know, taking care of your kids, those are in a bubble, back up so it, you know, taking action is fantastic. To move the energy check back in with you. And I think it is important to acknowledge any deep rooted fear is not going to be cured by including by going and cleaning your home. It will be a great distraction. But I really do believe this is intuitively what's hitting me right now. I really do believe we as humans stay super busy because we are afraid. On some level, not everyone, but I think a majority of us, I would definitely put myself in this category. I can see this pattern for sure, of staying busy so you don't have to face everything and rise, which we all want to rise, but the face everything, right that? Fe It's all the emotions, right? All the emotions, all, all the processing. It can be a lot and you know, so I do believe that's why we we stuff our calendars full. We have to do list, you know, coming like to do lists coming out of our butts and and we we keep saying yes and yes and yes and yes and yes and yes and yes and yes and yes and yes, and we talk about how we don't have all the time, but yet, we're doing it to ourselves on some level, right? Like every every situation is different. But this has just been a a thought that I've been processing recently, because there has been so much that has happened in my life in the last six, about six years, six, seven years. And when I zoom out and think about it, I'm like, is that too much? Because, oh my gosh, I'm like, holding my breath, even thinking about it, it's just so much. And so as I have been doing something called the naked method, I made this up, or maybe someone invented it, I'm not sure, but I'm calling it the naked method. But I stripped away all of my nails. Okay? I took my extensions out. I wear very modest makeup, but if you go back old photos or videos, it's like super long lashes, bold lip, you know, lots and lots of layers of makeup and and I don't think that there was anything wrong with that. It was what I chose at the time. Sometimes I wore wigs, all the things, but I'm in a season right now of nakedness. And there's a lot of reasons why, but this is a big reason I am facing emotional I am facing so many emotions, so many fears, so many limiting beliefs, because I know, I know in my heart, one, I don't want to be a prisoner of fear and limiting beliefs. How I have chosen to be a prisoner in the past. I don't want to run that running, to me, is being busy, and so I am feeling a lot of emotions. I have been for quite a while now, but I supercharged it very recently, I would say, like within the last three months, is when the naked method came into play, like, my budget is very naked. My makeup is very minimal, if anything, no extensions, no nails, i i literally wear like a sports bra, like, just very simple, very modest, very simple, and it has allowed me, oddly enough, to really lean into everything and feel it all. And so I have been leaning into my tools and resources a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot, and I have noticed, as I've been going through this naked method, it is it is painful, it is emotional, it is challenging, but it's also so healing and so liberating and so empowering. It's like such the duality of both. And I read a quote like an hour ago. And I do not remember who said it, but when I do, I will give them credit. But it said on the other side of all of your fears is freedom, which then it goes to the the rise and rise. And so if we want to get to the second part. We've got to face everything, and you don't have to do it all at once. Like, I legitimately feel like the about the last year has been really facing all of my fears and my limiting beliefs dead in the face, and saying them out loud, and being open and honest and and it's been a one by one, slow step staircase. And then, like I mentioned earlier, I really do believe, like, the last three months, at least, maybe since it's as fresh as it is, has been like the supercharge. But, like, I was even going through a past budget, and it was so overwhelming. Like, my own budget, I was like, This is ridiculous. Like, why did I think I needed to spend all of this money every single month? Like, but I'm, I'm in a whole different energy right now because of the naked method. So I'll do. A whole different doodle on the naked method, but it's been liberating and so empowering and and just loving myself as I am without any extra. And I had to be ready for it. I had to choose into it. And I think that that is really, really important as well. And so I think that that's huge. So Anywho, let's go through a few of mine, because these are biggies. We're going to save the grand finale for last. But you're not good enough, you're too emotional, you're too much like me as a person, I'm just too much. And what if you let down your family? So when I was prepping for this doodle, these were the four that were, like immediate for me, and it's so real. So like the you're not good enough, I have felt in some way, shape or form, since I was little. You're too emotional. I feel like probably started, quite honestly, when I started my period, and so it hasn't felt safe to show my emotions. So this, this is a big one that I'm feeling right now, because, because of the naked method, I am releasing a lot of emotion. So I genuinely do feel emotional, but I don't want to be too emotional. I just want to be emotional, like, that's just, that's who I am. Um, you're too much. This is probably one that I have felt the most in my business, like my business journey, so definitely, over, like, the last six years is this one, and then the what if you let down your family? So this one has been one, I think in the last, um, I would say the last three months, during the naked method I have, I have felt this one a lot. I don't this is probably my biggest fear, my biggest fear. I do not want to let down my family. So these are heavy. These are a lot. I'm not going to end the video here, so I encourage you to do is to write down these four. Oh, well, not these four, unless they are your four, but write down like the first four that come to you and just trust that those are the ones that you're ready to work through, and they're being revealed to you for that reason. If you don't think of four, you can think of two, you can think of 10. You pick the number, you're the boss. But I want to do this with you, and I think it can be really helpful for doing it energetically together, even if you're watching the replay as I am working through mine. I As long as you're not driving, because I probably wouldn't be smart, but I would love for you to do this with me. Um, if you feel called so the you're not good enough. Uh, like I mentioned, any deep rooted fear or limiting belief, no matter what affirmation we say, no matter what busy busyness we put ourselves into, those deep rooted fears and limiting beliefs will continue to come up again and continue to come up again and continue to come up again. And anytime you have a situation that reinforces this belief, it will just go deeper and deeper and deeper, right? Like, it's almost like your brain be like, see, right? We're we're not good enough. That was just proof right in real life. So we can, of course, have a different we can have a different thought, and that is helpful. So we'll start small, so we're not like rocking your nervous system, but we can start small and say, I am good enough. I am good enough. Now most people just stop there, but that isn't I don't want to say that's enough, because I don't want to contradict myself, but I invite you to go deeper, because the the deeper you go, the more you can heal. But if you're not ready for that, then you can just start here. So the I am good enough will be a good start, of course, and and a good start is more than good enough. When you're ready to go deeper, then we go deeper. So what we can do is, first, we can build evidence of when you have been good enough. So like the first thought that comes to my mind is, I was good enough to birth two babies and be their mom, like, what, like, that's the biggest gift ever. I'm good enough to have unbelievable clients that a lot of them have been with me for a long time. Uh, that I consider friends, and I learned so much from them, and they inspire me. And like I just the the they've allowed me in to some of their darkest times and also some of their greatest times. And so to be good enough for that is phenomenal. I've been good enough to meet, be able to go into big board rooms and ask for large amounts of money and for them to say yes, like I'll never forget when I was at Ralph Honda, and I was sitting in the boardroom, and the the marketing director said, Why should we pick your nonprofit like, why should we give you this free vehicle, vehicle I get asked all the time, and they turned down majority of the pitches that they get. And I sat there as a young, 20 something year old, and I said, Let me tell you why we're good enough. And he saw it. And so there's been so many times like I could literally write pages and pages and pages of evidence reinforcing that I am good enough. And it's interesting because there's been a handful of times that I have had evidence that reinforces that I'm not good enough but yet, if you like, compared the list of the good enough side versus the not good enough side, it the good enough side wins by a landslide. So me building as much evidence as I possibly can is huge for my brain. So that journal exercise is massive, and then from there, we can anchor it in with a new action. So when you do want to be a busy body, reinforcing the action is massive. So I'm good enough to to take a break. I'm good enough to, you know, pitch my program and know that I'm worth it, right, whatever that may be, or increase my prices. Or, you know, I could do one small action to build another line in the evidence bank. And the reason why that is so important, so I call that your anchor. Okay, so your anchor is a new action that you do when you're working through this exercise and you're committed to doing that new action to anchor in the new belief right then and there within the next 24 hours of when you're doing this. So you you wouldn't have to go through all of these in one sitting. But this will be huge. One thing that I'm also going to add in that I thought of today, this is the fun part about doing this work, is that it's always a living breathing thing, because that's we're living breathing humans, right? So the intuitive download that I had today was to add a song so anytime that I don't feel good enough, I can go through this exercise. And equally, if I'm short on time, I can start to reprogram my energy and my beliefs and my thoughts with a song, and knowing that I designate a song to this old belief, and that it's BS, it's not right, it's not correct. You know, I am good enough is huge, because music does something to us, physically, mentally, emotionally. So it's a it's a huge moment, and that you can quickly access, pretty much from anywhere. So I really do love that from for like, a quick a quick thing. And the more you tap into that, that specific song that's attached to that specific old belief and that it's not true can be huge. So that is a new download as of today. So I do not have songs yet. So that is my homework, and I'm very excited about it, because I do, I do feel like it'll be huge. Even Emma, when she's having a lots of emotions, I will start to sing to her, and she immediately slows down. It's so beautiful to see. And if I can't do it, then I'll put on like she loves JoJo she loves Taylor Swift. So if I if I don't do the trick, then I typically go to go to a song, and it really does help her. So I love those skills, because. In those, those coping mechanisms, because they they can be so healing. So I wanted to show you in real time how you can do this, so that way you're you're well equipped, and, like I said, you can go as deep as you want. You can see what else shows up for you. And you know, there might be some things that you need to clear out, that you need to let go. And I just think the more we we do this side of the work, these start to not have so much control over us. Because I do want to get to this one so, because I think this is a big one for moms, what if I let my family down? So it's so vague. What does that even mean? Like, I'm going to make mistakes, I'm going to have hard days, I'm not going to be perfect. So when fears and limiting beliefs are very vague, they have so much power over us because they're so vague. And so you taking the power away of the vagueness is also huge. So like a tool that you can do is arguing with your limiting beliefs and your fear and if, like, maybe, if you don't love the word argue, you could say, like challenge or question or get curious. So like, do a phrase that feels good to you, but like, I would like, my immediate thing would be, what do you mean, let let my family down? I don't know what that means. Fear. Like, what does that even mean? And then your fear would be like, oh, yeah, you know, like, if you can't make any money, well, I've always made money fear, like, I have always found a way. I have this evidence right now we're building evidence. I have this, I have this. I have this. I also have a college degree. I also have high income skills, right? Like, I am very hireable if I needed to be. And there's nothing wrong with that. Like, so if I think I'm gonna let my family down financially, then you're a liar, like, and here's all the evidence to back it up. Fear, if you think I'm gonna let down my family emotionally, you know, I'm always working on creating more you know, more skills, more tools, more resources, taking accountability, modeling, owning, you know, my mistakes and my shortcomings. So how would I let my fear? How would I let my family down, emotionally, fear, right? Like, so you can, just like, start to role play and push back on it, and doing that will help your brain so much, because when it's just so vague, it feels like it's just like a bunch of question marks, right? But then if we don't do anything about it, it just stays in this like Limbo land, and you feel so wobbly and so scared. And so us just gaining massive clarity is huge for these you'll see them show up again, right? Something may like, trigger them, like maybe somebody says you're too emotional, and then that could be a trigger. And so one more tool that I'll give you is being prepared, which I call protocols, proto calls, because if someone has called you emotional before, it's likely that someone will call you emotional again. If someone has called you too much or something like that, then it is likely that it will happen again. If you have felt not good enough before because of someone else's actions, most likely it will come up again, right? We are all humans living in the human world. Everyone's either going on their personal growth journey or not. So there's a lot, there's a lot out there for you to navigate. So protocols have been huge for me, because I can't control everyone. I can't control everything that's happening, and so the the controller in me does want to have some some preparedness so I don't feel out of control. And I don't think being in control is actually a bad thing. I think it creates a lot of financial independence, emotional freedom. It creates time freedom. So like, control has been deemed as a bad word, but I think there can be a lot of freedom in control and being prepared, and when you're not in an emotional state like you hear me very calm right now. Now would be a beautiful, perfect time, maybe when I'm a little bit more rested, but I'm very, very calm right now, and so me creating some protocols for things like this. This can be very helpful. So if and when a situation arises, all know in the back of my mind, oh yeah, I made a protocol for this. And so I'll give you an example a protocol. If someone says you're too emotional, you you can create a phrase to say back to that person, to stand up for yourself. And you can say, I have really been so proud of myself for for allowing myself to feel all of my emotions so I can I can heal. Doesn't that feel really empowering, and it's hard in moments to come up with that, you know, empowering phrase, because you're already triggered. And so us role playing it and preparing for it before if and when it happens is huge, and it may come out a little bit different, but you just even having it in your back pocket will give, will give you a lot of peace of mind that you're ready to go out into the world. You've got your protocols in your back pocket, and you're ready to go out into the world. And the cool part too about creating protocols is they're not just for fears and limiting beliefs. Protocols can be for your spending. Protocols can be for relationships. Protocols can be for your business, like they're very transferable and huge, huge, huge, huge. So you may not have a protocol for every teeny, tiny thing either, but you getting good at creating protocols will will help you in a moment of, oh my gosh, I don't have a protocol for this, but I know what to do, I'm gonna swing into action. So just even the the practicing of creating and enforcing protocols is huge, because then you're gonna get better at it. So I hope this gives you a lot to work with, obviously working through deep fears and limiting beliefs in a counseling container and or therapy can be very beautiful, meditating like there's a lot of professional resources out there, as well as things that you can do on your own. And I think it's all beautiful and amazing, and I want you to always feel empowered. That's always my goal. And these, these have helped me tremendously. Like so much so so much. So if you know a friend that needs something like this, feel free to share it to them, and I will see you on the next wealth doodle. I love you so much.